


i can't love you

by bad_detective



Series: cytus 2 characters have a bad time during a soulmate AU [1]
Category: Cytus (Video Games)
Genre: Ableism, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Everything is Beautiful and Everything Hurts, F/F, Homophobia, Morse Code, No Spoilers, Red String of Fate, Soulmates, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, but i provide translation, neko is a piece of shit, neko is irredeemable in this, paff needs hugs, some chatfic, suicide baiting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-08
Updated: 2020-05-13
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:54:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24066928
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bad_detective/pseuds/bad_detective
Summary: a red string ties the two idols together. if their employers and fanbase don't allow it, why would the idols allow it?
Relationships: Asakura Neko | NEKO#ΦωΦ/Aroma White | Paff
Series: cytus 2 characters have a bad time during a soulmate AU [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1736440
Comments: 3
Kudos: 7





	1. wandering, and following.

**Author's Note:**

> ah sh*t, i do not know how the music industry works but i'm trying. also this is really just my interpretation of the red string of fate. sry about how much of a chatfic this is.

neko always wondered who was on the other end of the string. it had to be the person of her dreams, more like the person of her fans dreams. she tugged on it, it grew longer. neko took comfort in the ethereal string covering her room. she always thought about how maybe her soulmate would probably fall over because she pulled too fast. the string got in the way of machinery though, even though the string is invisible to everyone except you and your soulmate.

[IM POST] Neko ΦωΦ HUHH? SM pulled on string!? he has a good hang on rhythm tho. #praythatit'snotxenonΦΔΦ

[reply] Xenon dude i've found my sm stfu

[reply] Neko ΦωΦ what.tf.who.else.would.use.rhythm ;; 

[reply] nekosaikou honestly the guy better be A.hot B.good at music otherwise ur strings probs lying #praythatit'snotxenonΦΔΦ

[reply] Xenon it's probably morse code or something

neko turned off her phone, the post would blow up anyways. the thing about morse code might actually be helpful she thought to herself. she quickly got a new tab with a morse code translator. she quickly tugged on the string once she found a translation. 

.- .-. . / -.-- --- ..- / .- / --. .. .-. .-.. / --- .-. / -... --- -.-- (are you a girl or a boy)

\--. .. .-. .-.. (girl)

... .- -- . (same)

.. .----. -- / .- .-. --- -- .- (i'm aroma) 

.. .----. ...- . / .... . .- .-. -.. / - .... .- - / ... --- -- . .-- .... . .-. . (i've heard that somewhere)

neko waited for a while. no response. she didn't check if her friends had found their soulmates so it came as a surprise that xennon had found his. 

[7:45 pm, xennon & neko chat log]

hey xenon?

yeah?

since when did u get a f*ckn soulmate

like forever ago now stfu i'm busy 

[chat end]

she wished xenon would talk to her more, but he's always doing something so that can't be helped. the more she thought the more scared she was of her soulmate, hardcore fans probably don't want her to have a girlfriend. she had to think for a bit before realising who it was, it was paff.


	2. naivety

neko woke up, feeling her soft bed beneath her. 'i should check IM' she thought to herself. she had multiple monitors and two laptops. most called her a tech freak, although not anymore because of her fame. people were scared of her, especially because of her fanbase.

[message log, 1:00 am]

hey simmonnn~ :neko

xenon: wtf it's 1am, im sleeping

no u arenttt ΦΑΦ :neko

xenon: anyways u found ur sm yet? 

immm nott tellllinnggg :neko

xenon: you should probably get some sleep rn, so i'm going to go

[xenon is offline]

'well, that failed' she thought. she had some trouble keeping friends close, it was always in her nature to push people away. she barely went outside anymore, fame had made her too cocky. .. .----. -- / -. . -.- --- (i'm neko) she pulled on the string. maybe it would scare paff off? hopefully paff wouldn't come knocking on her door. that would be a nightmare. she went to her kitchen, it was small but that was manageable. she made some hot chocolate and got her computer ready to stream

[IM POST] Neko ΦωΦ im streammminnggggggg!! just chatting u.u

NEKOSAIKOU was always the first person to join, no matter what hour. they had donated thousands over the past few years but they were so mean. they also had influence over her fans. the chat was filled with talk about the post from yesterday. most asking about who it is "gu-guys it's really not that important" half of her attention was directed to her new song, it was collaboration with Æsir. he insisted on making most of the song so it was barely any work for her. she got so many questions on her opinions of people, she didn't mind but she didn't realise what could happen if she said the wrong thing

'hey what's your opinion on PAFF?' the chat was flooded with it, she had to answer. mono would come after her if she told the truth. "that mute bitch? she's soooo annyoinggg" people asked why, she hated not being able to give out truthful information. "she doesn't talk to anyone, it makes collaborations take sooo lonnggg" "i swear she has something wrong with her" the stream went on for a couple of minutes. some fans of paff, or puffers as they liked to be called, had already caused an outrage on IM. "i'm probably gonna end the stream here. so see you guys later!" 

she needed to figure out a way to deal with the backlash from her statements. people were mad, this could hurt her reputation. 

[IM POST] PAFF_OFFICAL hello, this is paff! apparently neko has said some things about me, thank you all for your concern.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shits gonna get dark from here on.


	3. how dumb can you be?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> trigger/content warning: suicide baiting, harassment, ableism/ableist language, homophobia/homophobic language, slurs (non-racial) and bullying.

neko had seen the IM post, it was spreading faster then expected. she knew she had fucked up, she didn't mean it. she just wasn't thinking and said the first lie that came to her head. her fans had already started piling up on PAFFs post.

[IM reply] ##### what a fucking r*t*rd

[IM reply] #### honestly who even likes ur music, kys

god she was dumb, now she couldn't just tell the truth. she couldn't even talk to someone about it. simon is probably furious with her. aroma probably hates her, even if they are soulmates. robo is well, a robot, and she never talks to conneR, Æsir and cherry. 

'maybe joe could help? do i even deserve help?' 

a notification popped up on her computer, it was a message from xenon. 

xenon: why would you say shit about paff?

Neko ΦωΦ: it was an accident, it's better than my fans coming after me because she's my soulmate.

xenon: wtf, you could've just said she's your soulmate. you wouldn't lose anything.

Neko ΦωΦ: but mono ent. it could make paff lose everything 

xenon: you still could've said something else 

neko shut off her computer, that didn't help. insults were being directed at paff from left and right, an apology couldn't be delivered now. the room covered in red string, she couldn't just run away. the best she could do was try to call paff 

"oh god, please pick up" she muttered under her breath "neko?" aroma sounded like she couldn't even talk normally, her voice reduced to a whisper. "aroma im..." she couldn't say it, her pride wouldn't let her. she had come so far from where she started, this whole thing made her feel small. "neko, i know you aren't sorry" "that's not true!" nekos panicked voice echoed through her house. "it's just that what if mono comes after you? your soulmate has to be perfect after all" a lie, a small lie. it was too late to say the truth now.

"how stupid are you?" "i didn't do anything _directly_ to you" "your fans are telling me that i should _die!_ do you not understand what's going on" aromas' voice sounded desperate, aroma wanted an answer. "you're clearly the idiot here" neko sounded spiteful, "you haven't changed" "you goddamn f*g*tt, go fucking die" "I thought you would've been more understanding" _beep._ aroma had hung up on her. 

"god what am i doing?!" neko slammed her hands on her desk. she clutched her head in desperation. why was she saying those things? should she sleep on it? no, she would go to paff, and apologise in person. but all she could say in front of her was lies. the only way to get out the truth was to pry it out of her cold, dead hands. oh god, was this the end of her career? it would be so much easier to only lie on camera, so why did lie in real life? it was only 7:00 am, a whole day ahead of her was waiting. how was she even supposed to exit her house without getting noticed? it didn't matter to neko anymore. 

before she could even think, she was standing at her door. ready to leave. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> god, i mean this is short, but there's a lot of tws on this. hopefully i've handled this well.


	4. please don't forgive me

"let me in!" neko shouted at aromas door. "Miss White does not want visitors at this time!" Helena white and neko asakura were fighting through the door. "And who are you?!" Neko kicked the door, helena struggling to keep it closed eventually gave in. the door slowly creaked open. "where's aroma?" "i should probably tell her _you're_ here first" helena commented. Helena swiftly left the room to check on Aroma. Aroma seemed to almost have a limp in her walk, she walked slowly, trying to find something to hold on to. 

"neko, i thought i told you to stop bothering me" "I'm not stopping until you help me figure out what to do with my fans" "i can't do anything to help you" aroma sighed. "well find a way!" the brown haired girl was getting antsy at this point. "There is non-" aroma was quickly met with a slap to her face. "i don't care, i'm begging you please help me" "only this time" helena interrupted. 

"that works with me" neko sighed. "your psycho" "no, not really, I just want to keep my fame" "you're still sick" "well, we need to think of something quickly" aroma sighed. "yeah, yeah. just get me some food." "You're so demanding" Helena whispered under her breath. Neko sat on a couch, it was soft and comfy. "neko just say sorry over a video, it's that simple" "I'll set up a stream right now to make amends?" "i mean, i know it's fake but it would probably trick your fans" "it's not fake!" "well say sorry" "no" "let's just, get this over with" 

"yeah" 

neko set up a camera, aroma had one in her house. 

[IM POST] Neko ΦωΦ good afternoon! today i'm gonna be streaming with PAFF.

"good afternoon guys!" neko beamed at the camera. "i'm here with paff today..." "hi" "yeah, and I didn't mean what I said about her last night" "yeah that" paffs' voice was almost monotone. a frown all over her face. "come onnnn paffff~ be happy!" the rest of the stream was mostly silent. Paff had made some music, so had neko. It didn't really amount to much. 

"that should do it, hopefully everything will be normal" "yeah but you aren't actually sorry" "who caressss" "I do! you've been saying horrible things about me, why wouldn't I be mad!" neko just shrugged. "Well I just don't care" the brown haired girl was quickly met with a slap to her face. "owwwwww" "have more compassion" aroma sighed. 

"you don't _have_ to forgive me y'know" "but I want to feel like you can change" "i've clearly done things that prove I can't" "so what did you expect me to do?" "i don't know" 

"just don't forgive me" 

"okay" 

neko walked home, it wasn't far and it was quite peaceful. her energy was drained and no backlash to her 'apology' had been received. she still thought paff wouldn't be a good soulmate for her. the red string bounced up and down. maybe there was a way to get rid of the string? there was rumors that you could cut the string, no one would ever try it though. having no soulmate wasn't the worst thing, but it sure was unusual. 

neko had finally gotten to her house. the soft glow of her computers illuminated her house. she lay down. everything felt cold. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> why do i do this to myself. anyways helena is finally here, thank god.
> 
> I can literally invision neko in this situation. neko is a cartman kinnie lol


	5. I can't go on like this.

It was the next morning. 

neko got up from her bed, to look for some scissors. 

they were cold. she had accidentally left her air conditioner on, she didn't remember turning it on in the first place. 

she brought the scissors to the string, it's bright red color lit up her room. 

her hands were shaking, everything was cold. 

it couldn't possibly work out. talking to anyone wasn't an option at this point.

the string was splitting apart, thread by thread.

as soon as the last thread was cut the whole string disappeared. 

[IM POST] Neko ΦωΦ fyi, I've cut my sm string. I know who my sm is and I hope she doesn't mind. sry if this is a shock to all you guys </3

[reply] xenon_official big oof.

she couldn't even look at her phone anymore. the past few days had been too much for her, paff was still mad. did it even matter to her? were people still mad at her? this wouldn't look good for her reputation, or paffs. she basically couldn't go outside anymore, especially not after what she did trying to get to paff.

her stomach burned, even though she had ate last night. maybe she should go back to sleep, it didn't matter what she would do for the next few days. nothing mattered. 

she shut her eyes. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ayyyyyyyyyyyyyy it's finished dudes, next time xenon is in spain, without the s. 
> 
> uhhhhh, sorry. if u think the end is trash. 
> 
> btw thanks for reading, it means a ton to me :D


End file.
